Embryo of Philosophy

So, I'm sick. Not really sick, but sick enough for the whole experience to be decidedly unpleasant. I was blowing my nose all through anime club on Friday, which must have annoyed the fuck out of everyone else, but there wasn't much I could do. No way I was going to miss anime club due to some dinky cold. If I can go to school (which I did) and to work (which I'm going to today) then there's no way that I'm not going to anime club.

I'm drinking loads of echinacea tea, which is supposed to bolster my immune system. Even if it doesn't work, it at least guarantees that I'm staying hydrated.

I've been thinking about books. Mainly, my tendency to beat myself up if I don't think that I'm reading fast enough, and the pressure I put on myself to read every book to the end and not allow myself to start a new book until I'm finished with the previous one. The whole thing is, well, kind of stupid. I feel like I have to live up to other people's expectations... except they're expectations that other people don't have. The only putting pressure on me is me. And why? What does it matter if I read when and what I want to read? Other people probably don't even notice what I'm reading from day to day, and if they do, I doubt they care how long it takes me to finish it.

So, I'm not reading Constantine's Sword right now, because I wasn't enjoying it. I may pick it up again later, or I may not. So there.

I read We Have Always Lived in the Castle last night, because I wanted to. It's a freaking brilliant book, by the way. I recommend it.

Wow, for once I may actually be taking step in the right direction, emotionally. How often do I manage that? (Answer: Not very often.)

Just how much of a procrastinator am I? So much that I'm even late in wishing myself a happy birthday. Happy birthday me!

It was a really fun birthday, for all I was dreading it. I got lots of a presents. (Seriously, I was spoiled this year. I think my mom feels guilty that my father isn't around to celebrate my birthday.) Plus, my mom, my brother, and I went out to a really nice restaurant. The food was so good. It was a little embarrassing, but, man, you would have thought that I was orgasming right there in the restaurant. It was really yummy. (Lobster ravioli with tiger shrimp, sushi grade ahi tuna with tempura sea scallops, and three different kinds of crème brûlée.) Also, I had my first legal drink! I don't remember what it was called, but it was good. (I do remember what was in it: champagne, blackberry syrup, and a twist of lemon.)

I'm back to slacking off regarding my school work. Two weeks of studying hard, then it's back to bad habits. But my life is moving forward in other ways. I signed up to start volunteering at Left Hand Books, a not for profit, volunteer staffed, radical bookstore. I'm really excited. It will give me experience with books, which will be helpful when I want to start grad school/my career as a librarian. Not only that, but I'll around people who can relate to me. See, I care. I care about the environment, racism, classism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, the oppression of developing nations by the American empire, the erosion of civil rights in the US, political prisoners being tortured, attacks on science by the religious right, blatantly false sexual education being taught in our schools, and more. I care a whole hell of a lot. This sounds like bragging, but it's just a fact. And I don't know many people who care on the same level. But at Left Hand Books, I'll be able to find plenty.

I keep meaning to do an article post, but politics are depressing me so much. I should at least do my "John McCain is a homophobic, sexist, hypocritical, warmonger, and no one should vote for him; also Sarah Palin is sexist, horribly homophobic, hypocritical, blatant liar, and no one should vote for her either" post.

So, yeah, that's me right now. Oh, here's a meme from andmydog:

When you see this, post a Douglas Adams quote in your journal.

I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.

Your incredibly amusing link of the day: safenow.org: What to Do in an Emergency This website has helpful tips for what to do in the event of a terrorist attack, using bizarre, actual government signs.

Had a doctor's appointment today. I got a referral for a gynecologist, a new birth control prescription. I may actually be about to make progress on the endometriosis issue. (The endometriosis issue, by the way, is whether or not I have it.)

I'm a bit frustrated, because I really don't feel like I have any good options. Every possible solution has a "but" after it. I was really interested in depo provera. It's one injection that regulates your periods for three months. This would take care of my problem with birth control pills, which is always forgetting to take them. However, depo provera increases the risk of osteoporosis. I get so little calcium that I don't dare increase my chances. I really just want a damn hysterectomy, but the trouble is finding someone willing to do it. "But you won't be able to BABIEZ" is the spoken or unspoken objection. I don't want kids, but good luck trying to convince people of that. As if I needed reminding that female bodies are too often seen as little more than incubators. Luckily, my physician is cool.

When grocery shopping and spent too much money on stuff I don't need. In my defense, garlic stuffed olives! Mm, garlic stuffed olives. You either understand or you don't, I think.