Embryo of Philosophy

And they said that it couldn't be done.

So, this is where I go fishing through my inbox to find interesting articles.

First off, something I agree with so, so very much.

( 'I Was Raped' Should Horrify -- But Our Culture Has Stripped the Word of Its Power )


And this next article for a healthy daily helping of rage, along with a bit of hope. I disagree with Obama on some things; I'm not always satisfied with his decisions, but thank god we have him instead of another Republican.

( How Bush and Co. Broke the Law to Keep Women from Using Birth Control )

Now, maybe you thought that I was too harsh with that last comment. Just because Bush and his cronies were immoral morons when it came to sexual health doesn't mean that all Republicans are, right? And it's not like I'm impartial. I'm a liberal who believes in equality, and personal liberties, and the First Amendment, and all those other pinko commie things. But if you won't take my word for it, would you listen to Meghan McCain, who's not just a Republican, but John McCain's daughter?

( The GOP Doesn't Understand Sex )

But, I do have some unabashed good news.

( Washington, D.C., Council Approves Recognition of Out-of-State Gay Marriage )

And

( N.Y. Assembly Passes Gay Marriage Bill )

And now I feel slightly less guilty about all of my fandom posts. And we are all so edified, aren't we?

I am on the verge of losing my mind. The slightest thing sends me sobbing uncontrollably, I'm nigh constantly nauseous from stress, I keep hyperventilating. It's not pretty.

My grades are just a not pretty. I only have one class that I'm doing truly atrociously in, Spanish; but my grades are slipping all around.

It's hard for me to describe just how insane school makes me. I think I'm just worn down by years of stress and misery every damn semester.

I'm also pissed off because the anti-choice group that goes around colleges bringing huge billboards of bloody fetuses is at CU. I really loathe these people. Not only are they disgustingly manipulative (LOOK AT WHAT YOU'RE DOING TO YOUR DARLING LOVELY INNOCENT BABEEEE), they're outright liars. No, morons/assholes , abortion and breast cancer are in no way related. Then again, they wouldn't know a scientific fact if it bashed them over the head. These people make me want to go out, get pregnant, get an abortion, then send them a graphic description of it, telling them that they inspired me to do it. Of course, I wouldn't actually do this. Think of the time and expense!

Another thing I'd like to do is go up to one them and say that we don't yet live in country where women understand that they are dirty, dirty sluts who shouldn't dare do things like make decisions, but I'm glad to see that they're working on it. I also won't do this, as the resulting confrontation would be both futile and annoying.

These people aren't pro-life. If they were pro-life they would be equally against the death penalty, war, putting animals to sleep when they're old and sick, and the use of pesticides. (They claim that the "right to life" begins at conception. Why doesn't a grasshopper deserve life as much as an newly fertilized egg? The grasshopper has higher cognitive functions.)

So, yes, dealing with them all week hasn't made my mood any better.

I don't think that this is connected to the tragic loss of my "I asked God, and she's pro-choice" button, but it's an annoying coincidence.

But, I don't want you to think that my life is one hundred percent misery. There is some pretty amazing news. On May 19th, I'm getting breast reduction surgery. The doctor also seems much more understanding of what I want than last time I met with her. I printed out some pictures from the Title Nine website to give her an idea of what I'm hoping for. She looked at the picture that I like best and noted that the woman had a smaller frame than I do, and that on me that breast size would look very masculine. I told her that I was just fine with that. My mom chimed in, asking the if the doctor was familiar with "butch" and that that was the look that we were going for. When I assured the doctor that there was no such thing as too small, she wrote it down. So, I'm hoping that things will go well. Dude, it's happening in a month.

I'm hungry, so I'm going to see if I can work up the emotional energy to cook (from a box) and then eat.

( Bush-Era Abortion Rules Face Possible Reversal )

This article actually cleared some things up for me that I didn't previously fully understand. For instance, "For decades, federal law has said that doctors and nurses can't be compelled to perform abortions. The new regulation broadens that to make clear that all health-care workers may refuse to provide information, such as a referral, to patients looking for an abortion."

And abortion isn't the only issue here. From the National Center for Transgender Equality:

( Newly Released 'Provider Conscience' Regulations and Their Affect On Transgender People )

A few people may be wondering why I'm so worried. After all, isn't Obama going to simply get rid of that despicable junk? Wasn't that the point of the first article? To you, I say that my faith in President-Elect Obama has been sorely shaken.

( A Bigot, Anti-Choice Pastor Picked for Obama's Inauguration )

After insisting that his agenda was "broad," and holding himself out as an impartial arbiter of the Forum, he declared that voting for a "Holocaust denier," (i.e., someone who is pro-choice) is a "deal-breaker" for many evangelicals.

It drives me really, really nuts when anti-choice people compare abortion to the Holocaust or genocide. For one thing, it's a sickening trivialization of the Holocaust. For another thing, it reveals that these people do not understand basic dictionary definitions. A genocide is "the deliberate and systematic extermination of a national, racial, political, or cultural group" (from dictionary.com). Fetuses are not a national, racial, political, or cultural group. Even if you believe abortion is morally wrong, it's no more genocide than it is arson.

Warren, a creationist, believes that homosexuality disproves evolution; he told CNN's Larry King in 2005, "If Darwin was right, which is survival of the fittest then homosexuality would be a recessive gene because it doesn't reproduce and you would think that over thousands of years that homosexuality would work itself out of the gene pool."

Okay, not only does he not understand dictionary definitions, he also doesn't understand genetics or evolution either. There is no one "gay gene." And recessive genes can be in your genetic makeup without being active. And evolutionary biologists have hypothesized that homosexuality is actually evolutionarily beneficial because it creates adults that are unencumbered with offspring of their own, allowing them to help with community child care.

Warren protests that he's not a homophobe

OH, OF COURSE NOT. HOW COULD ANYONE THINK THAT HE IS?

He thinks his AIDS relief efforts represent an elevated form of Christianity over those non-evangelical do-gooders whom he compares to "Marxists" because they're more interested in good works than salvation.

Because the main tenet of Marxism is... doing good works without being concerned about personal salvation?

Things that Rick Warren has absolutely no understanding of:

The Holocaust
Genocide
Genetics
Evolution
Marxism

Seriously, does this man just throw out random words to see if they stick?

After I first told my mother about this Rick Warren guy, she was skeptical. You may be too. So, I present a second article from cnn.com.

( Obama's inaugural choice sparks outrage )

"There were all kinds of threats that if [Proposition 8] did not pass, then any pastor could be considered doing hate speech if he shared his views that he didn't think homosexuality was the most natural way for relationships, and that would be hate speech."

...The only thing that Prop 8 was concerned with was whether or not same-sex couples would retain their legal right to marry. These claims that that right would have made speaking out against homosexuality (and god, look how it's phrased "he didn't think homosexuality was the most natural way for relationships." How sweet and innocuous.) hate speech or that it would have forced kindergarten teachers to discuss homosexuality in their classes are such despicable lies that it shows just how detestable the religious right is. These people are scum. That's all there is to it.

( Protections Set for Antiabortion Health Workers )

"People should not be forced to say or do things they believe are morally wrong." That sounds good doesn't it? Reasonable. Except that people also need to do their fucking jobs.

I don't like large corporations. It seems that 9 times out 10 they're evil. I consider a lot of the tactics that corporations use to be morally wrong. And yet, Blockbuster still expects me to do my job. What would happen if I refused to check people out because it violated my conscience? They'd fire me, that's what they'd do! And rightly so. Or say that I thought violent video games were a source of evil. I don't get to refuse to rent them. I have a job to do, and renting violent video games is part of it.

I'm seeing articles like this more and more, and it's beginning to drive me crazy.

So, OASOS (the queer support/activity group I attend) is having its annual talent show on Wednesday, and I will be doing drag. This means that I had to go shopping for girl clothes. (I perform as drag queen. Dressing in men's clothing wouldn't be anything different than what I normally do, and besides, I don't identify as female.) All I wanted was to find a simple but still slightly sexy white top to go with a really cute skirt I already have. In the process I was reminded of what I had almost forgotten.

Women's clothing is evil.

It is! First of all, it's unnecessarily complicated. For hilarity, imagine me in the thrift store dressing room flailing around going, "Augh! Too many straps! Why so many straps!" Then I couldn't get the damn thing off!

But, really, that's not why it's evil. It's truly evil because I genuinely suspect that it's designed to make women feel bad about themselves. I have many neuroses, but worrying about my weight is not one of them. I weight somewhere between 130-140 pounds (I don't own a scale, so I can't be sure), and I've always considered myself slender. If my jeans stop fitting, I take it as a sign that I need to buy new jeans. I always figured that the lack of worry simply meant that that specific aspect of female socialization had missed me. Plenty of others had firmly lodged themselves in me, so it's not as if I didn't have other shit to worry about. Now, I'm beginning to suspect more and more that my lack of anxiety about my weight comes from not wearing women's clothing (aside from shoes and socks) more than three times a year max since I was thirteen.

Putting on dresses, I begin to worry about my stomach sticking out, and I see how long I can suck in my breath. Today I began wondering if size 11/12 is considered fat these days. (I don't know what size I am, but I think it's over a ten.) I thought, "I could ask people on lj." Then I thought, "NO I CERTAINLY WILL NOT. BECAUSE IT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER." I really was thinking in capslock. (And seriously, don't tell me. It doesn't matter, or, at least, it shouldn't matter, and I'm not going to validate that kind of thinking in myself.)

Also, what are women's clothing designers thinking these days? All I really wanted was a simple white top. Why was that so much trouble? Because everything I tried on was so thin as to be practically see through. I'm fairly certain that ones nipples shouldn't show through one's shirt if it can be avoided, and I'm very, very certain that one's areolas should not show through. I was wondering if I just have unusually pointy nipples, but a call to my mother assured me that shirts are made like that these days.

Speaking of my boobs, there's another reason that shopping for women's clothing is such a headache for me that's more personal: I'm not proportional. Tops and dresses that fit me in the arms, waist, and length all too often don't fit me in the chest. Simply put, my boobs are too big. This creates problems. I remember looking through hand-me-downs from my mother's best friend's daughter. We were the same weight, and her clothes were often designer brands that hadn't even been worn. But, you guessed it, they wouldn't fit around my chest. I was looking a nice white top at Buffalo Exchange (a ritzy second hand store--the thrift store yielded no results) that was my size, then noticed a ring of lace around the middle of the chest area. "What the hell?" I thought. "Why is the boob area full of holes?" Then I noticed two triangular pieces of fabric above the lace. I realized that my boobs were supposed to go there, except there was no way that was enough room.

I'm not used to these problems. Normally, when I buy shirts, I go to the size I wear, and find something I like. No mess, no fuss. I got so fed up, I eventually bought a blouse that's too tight, and only slightly see through, just because I was so sick of the whole thing.

But, but, but! I don't want you to think the whole day was unpleasant. You see, I really do love cute/sexy/beautiful women's clothing, and I came away with some real finds. (Well, I like them.)

The first is a top that's so gloriously tacky that I soon as I saw it, I knew that I had to have it. It's fuzzy pink and purple leopard print with a hood and a zipper up the front. I love tops with zippers up the front. It's incredibly sexy. Actually tops that fasten up the front are sexy in general. There's nothing sexier to take off than a button up shirt. Unfastening the buttons one by one, going ever so slowly, teasing your lover with your eyes... mmm. Zippers are not as sexy to take off, because it goes too fast, but they're much sexier to wear. You see someone wearing something with a zipper in the front, and the first on your mind is how easy it would be to pull that zipper down. (Er, well, it's the first thing on my mind.)

This leads well into the other top I bought. I saw it and literally thought "That is the sexiest piece of clothing I have ever seen. I think I might like to have sex with it." It's black vinyl with a zipper up the front (of course), and it's very short. I kept raising my arms above my head and jumping, worrying that I'd end flashing. Of course, it's not as if I'll get much use out of it. The only times Id feel comfortable wearing it are to a Rocky Horror Picture Show showing and with someone I was in a deep and intimate relationship with. But I couldn't not buy it.

So, er, yes. Was that a little too much sharing?

I really hate lj cuts. I always screw them up when making big posts.

Here we have a very interesting book review/interview. I need to look into this book.

( Survival Guide for Life in a Sexist Society )

Finally, a little good news. (That's a month old. Sorry.)

( Canada Law Hinders Focus on the Family’s Deceptions about Sexual Orientation )

Take that, ya bunch of bigots!

And one more. (I have more to post, but I think that this enough for one day. You don't have to read all of these at once. Come back over several days, and take you time, if need be.)

( Anti-Choice and the Woo Factor )

Article post time. (Aren't you just so excited?)

Honestly, I'm a bit tired of "politicians cheating on their spouses" stories (except for homophobic queers--that will always be amusing), but this article raises some interesting points.

( How’s That ‘Rule of Law’ Work Now? )

I'm also posting this for another reason, and that's because I have something to say. Ready?

How hard is it not to cheat?! How hard is to not have sex with someone?! I, mean really! So, the spark has gone out of your relationship? That's why god gave us hands. (Well, it's probably not the only reason, but it's a good one.) If you're horny, jerk off. Or, here's a novel concept, you could talk to your partner. What can you do to liven up your relationship? Vacation? Sex toys? Exciting new sexual practices?

Every time one of these scandals comes out, the sexual freedom mailing list that I belong to explodes with articles about how humans just aren't meant for monogamy. Well, that's fine. And I have no problem with polyamory. But, if you're in a monogamous relationship, don't cheat. Honeslty, I'm not sure that I want anyone who can't figure that out serving as my elected official.

Next up, something people should know about.

( Verizon Shareholders Vote Down Protections Based On Gender Identity And Expression )

I am genuinely glad about the outcome of this next article, though it did make me want to shout, "Stop being into BDSM! You're making us look violent and stupid!"

( People can't invite violent sex acts, judge rules )

Like I said, I am glad that the judge ruled against this guy. Any idiot should be able to figure out that a person can't consent to sex while unconscious, and sex without consent is rape. This is very simple. I'm uncomfortable about the blanket statement that "individuals cannot voluntarily invite violent acts against themselves." That could lead to charges against people who truly are doing something consensual.

Next up, the continued story of abstinence only education vs. "Hey, teenagers have sex, get used to it."

( Hearing Highlights Ab-Only Industry In Peril )

You know what really jumps out at me? The line, "Representative John Duncan, a Republican from Tennessee, said it was "rather elitist" that those with public health degrees thought they knew better than parents what type of sex education works." Now, the article did a good job of pointing out just what's wrong with Mr. Duncan's thinking. (Jon Stewart also had a hilarious bit in which he described how those elitist airplane pilots think they know how to fly a plane for his family better than he does.) However, it's the word "elitist" that really jumps out at me. If people in this country it's elitism. Obama has been accused of being elitist constantly in these last few weeks. It was lobbed against Kerry when they media wasn't calling him flip-flopper. American's, we were told, wanted a president that they could sit down and have a beer with.

I don't want a president that I can have a beer with! I want a president who knows what the fuck he or she is doing! I don't elect people to be my buddy. I elect them to represent my interests in complex, difficult, ever changing political system. I want them to be intelligent and knowledgeable. I want the people who design health care programs in schools to be up to date on the latest studies and information. There's a reason that we don't let parents teach classes and develop programs solely on the virtue of being parents.

Okay, I'm calm. The next article is bad news.

( Michigan Court Sends Warning to Florida )

It's a little eery that this anti-gay amendment is called amendment 2. Here in Colorado, amendment 2 was the name of the amendment that attempted to strip queer people of all protection under the law. It passed, but was overturned by the state supreme court.

This next article is interesting, but well, kind of obvious.

( Transgender Rights Run Into Bathroom Politics )

The thing is, this is old news. The right to a safe, comfortable place to pee is a battle that trans people have been fighting for for years. Cisgender people take it for granted. And the objections that the article quotes are just as old. I've heard them years ago from someone I once respected. It's certainly important, but I'm having this feeling of, "Where have you been." Then again, it seems that every other month there's an article coming out about, "Gasp! These people think that they're the wrong physical sex! How bizarre!" or "Gasp! These people like to tied up during sex! How titillating!" Yeah, yeah, the freaks will be here all night for your enjoyment.

Speaking of kink and queers:

( The ABCs of sexual orientation )

Meme taken from ranalore

So I was adding some new interests to my LJ profile and found myself feeling defensive every time I typed a female name, thinking, basically, FUCK YOU, SHE'S AWESOME, because I felt as if someone somewhere was going to be criticizing my love for them.

So, anyway, then I made a list of women who make me want to say FUCK YOU, SHE'S AWESOME. They are far from the only women who are awesome, or the only women people need to be told to step off of, but they are the top ten I feel that way about, right now, off the top of my head.

If you want to argue with me about the awesomeness of any of these women, I am afraid I will simply be referring you to the subject line. THAT IS ALL.

(Note: FUCK YOU, SHE'S AWESOME, may mean anything from "she kicks ass" to "she's a complex character with believable and sympathetic motivation, and I'd like to see how well you'd do if you were being brainwashed by a serial killer." Oh, and I listed more than ten. So what?)

1. Kaoru Kozue
2. Takatsuki Shiori
3. Himemiya Anthy
4. Kakyoin Tsubaki (OH YEAH, I SAID IT.)
5. Kudou Himiko
6. HEVN
7. Sumeragi Hokuto
8. Tara Maclay
9. Kennedy
10. Aoyagi Misaki (She's broken, but so much stronger than she's given credit for.)
11. Yukishiro Tomoe
12. Kamiya Kaoru
13. Takani Megumi

This meme reveals one certain thing. Given that Kennedy is the least popular Buffy character, and given that I am one of maybe three Tsubaki-hime fans on the entire internet, there is only one logical course of action: write Kennedy/Tsubaki-hime fanfic. No, I have no idea how it would work. That's not the point.

( CHEERS AND JEERS OF THE WEEK )