I am on the verge of losing my mind. The slightest thing sends me sobbing uncontrollably, I'm nigh constantly nauseous from stress, I keep hyperventilating. It's not pretty.
My grades are just a not pretty. I only have one class that I'm doing truly atrociously in, Spanish; but my grades are slipping all around.
It's hard for me to describe just how insane school makes me. I think I'm just worn down by years of stress and misery every damn semester.
I'm also pissed off because the anti-choice group that goes around colleges bringing huge billboards of bloody fetuses is at CU. I really loathe these people. Not only are they disgustingly manipulative (LOOK AT WHAT YOU'RE DOING TO YOUR DARLING LOVELY INNOCENT BABEEEE), they're outright liars. No, morons/assholes , abortion and breast cancer are in no way related. Then again, they wouldn't know a scientific fact if it bashed them over the head. These people make me want to go out, get pregnant, get an abortion, then send them a graphic description of it, telling them that they inspired me to do it. Of course, I wouldn't actually do this. Think of the time and expense!
Another thing I'd like to do is go up to one them and say that we don't yet live in country where women understand that they are dirty, dirty sluts who shouldn't dare do things like make decisions, but I'm glad to see that they're working on it. I also won't do this, as the resulting confrontation would be both futile and annoying.
These people aren't pro-life. If they were pro-life they would be equally against the death penalty, war, putting animals to sleep when they're old and sick, and the use of pesticides. (They claim that the "right to life" begins at conception. Why doesn't a grasshopper deserve life as much as an newly fertilized egg? The grasshopper has higher cognitive functions.)
So, yes, dealing with them all week hasn't made my mood any better.
I don't think that this is connected to the tragic loss of my "I asked God, and she's pro-choice" button, but it's an annoying coincidence.
But, I don't want you to think that my life is one hundred percent misery. There is some pretty amazing news. On May 19th, I'm getting breast reduction surgery. The doctor also seems much more understanding of what I want than last time I met with her. I printed out some pictures from the
Title Nine website to give her an idea of what I'm hoping for. She looked at the picture that I like best and noted that the woman had a smaller frame than I do, and that on me that breast size would look very masculine. I told her that I was just fine with that. My mom chimed in, asking the if the doctor was familiar with "butch" and that that was the look that we were going for. When I assured the doctor that there was no such thing as too small, she wrote it down. So, I'm hoping that things will go well. Dude, it's happening in a month.
I'm hungry, so I'm going to see if I can work up the emotional energy to cook (from a box) and then eat.
