Embryo of Philosophy

This year I wrote The Seasons of Your Heart , a Gankutsuou fic that follows Albert's feeling for the Count throughout the series.

For a while there was a very real fear that this wasn't going to get written. School nearly killed me this semester, and I never could find the time and peace of mind to actually write. I was actually writing my very last paper on the day that Yuletide stories were due. I finished the paper, watched a few important moments in the series, and wrote like mad. And I did this on no sleep. Thank god for caffeine pills.

I knew when I signed up to write Gankutsuou that there was very good chance that I'd be assigned to write Albert/the Count, as it's the most popular pairing. Unfortunately, I don't ship it. And what looks like an interesting challenge during sign-ups becomes a terrifying impossibility once assignments are out. But I managed and my recipient liked it, which is all that matters.

This is a post all for plugging the beautiful Yuletide story that I received. by the beauty of physical objects is a Guenevere/Lancelot story set in T. H. White's The Once and Future King series.

I know that you're supposed to make sure that you'd be happy with any of your Yuletide requests, but I'll confess that I had an extra desire to have my The Once and Future King request filled. Guenevere and Lancelot have been one of my OTPs since I was eight or nine, when I saw Lerner and Lowe's "Camelot." However, I haven't been able to find nearly as much dedicated to them as I would like. And the The Once and Future King fandom is pretty much nonexistent.

The story itself is lovely, soft, and sad. You should go read it at once.

I keep meaning to do a big Yuletide recs post, but I'm sleepy, I have to work tomorrow, and I have to decide if I'm going to heed the siren call of the X-Files DVD I have in the other room. So, this is just one rec.

The American Gods fic, Bird's Eye View, is amazing, and I'm not just saying that because it was written for me. It's from Horus' point of view while Shadow was holding the vigil for Wednesday. Horus doesn't get a lot of attention in the book, so it's amazing that my mystery author was able to capture him so well. The story is lyrical, beautiful, just a touch mad, and it made me want to both reread American Gods and bone up on my Egyptian mythology.

I had my last two final exams and turned in my final paper yesterday. One way or another, the semester is over. I may have bombed all three of the exams though. Seriously, I mean that. I could remember hardly anything we learned in class this year during my Spanish final. I just couldn't remember. It was miserable.

But I don't think I'll actually fail anything. (And hopefully I won't get anything less than a C.) I'm not worrying about my grades so much, ever since I decided not to go to grad school. For years, I've been planning on being being a librarian, which requires an advanced degree. But recently I've realized that as much as I love books, my heart belongs to social justice work. So now I plan on working for a non-profit after I graduate, probably feminist or GLBT rights related. I think that I'll be happier this way. I've always planned on at least volunteering, this way I'll have more time to devote to (and get paid for) doing what I was going to do anyway.

I've always hated school. There's just no reason to go to grad school and prolong my misery.

In other news, my Yuletide story is uploaded. Now I'm freaking out, certain that I should have looked over it at least a dozen more times, put stuff in, taken stuff out. Ack! But it's in, and there's nothing else that can be done.

So now there's a huge load off of my mind.

The list of prompts for December is up at 31_days. They look fantastic. Why is it that this has to be the month filled with inspiration? I have finals! And Yuletide! And other stuff! I've actually already written a Count Cain piece for day nine: "generations of poison, centuries of poison." It's over 1000 words, and I wrote it all today. For me, that's absolutely amazing. I'm a pathetically slow writer, and my stories are normally ridiculously short. I even rather like how it turned out. now I'm just wondering why it couldn't have been my damn Yuletide story, which isn't going nearly so well. In fact, it's not going at all. Argh! Why didn't anyone tell me that this was going to be this hard?

I knew better, you know. I knew that it was going to be a bad idea, signing up for Yuletide. But I thought it looked like fun, and I was tired of being left out. Curse me and my sheep mentality!

Other 31_days ideas (I won't be able to do nearly all of these):

"3) I appeal to your scratches and your tattered fur." I really want to do a Kubota/Tokito story for this one.

"4) making love in the temple." Koumyou/Ukoku fic, yes?

"5) glorious eyes that smile and burn." More Cain fic!

"19) and he chants the hate of a million years." I don't know what yet, but I want to do something with this one.

I actually love and would like to work with just about every prompt there, but those are the ones that really jumped out at me.

I must be boring the non-fandom people so much. Hell, I'm probably boring the fandom people too. I'm sorry!

I just received my Yuletide assignment, and I'm beginning to see the downside of this anonymity thing. See, I'm panicking. And I want to tell you why I'm panicking, so you can panic with me, or reassure me, or just tell me to shut the fuck up. But I can't.

Also, why do "panicked" and "panicking" have "K"s while "panic" doesn't? Seriously, what's with that?

Today was all right, except for the fact that I'm hacking my lungs out. I had to leave my Women in Islam class because I couldn't stop coughing. Loudly. I hate being sick.